Things You Shouldn’t Do During A High-Conflict Divorce In Illinois
When a divorce becomes high-conflict, everything you say and do can be used against you. Emotions are often running high, especially when there are children, money, or property involved. But even in the most stressful moments, how you handle yourself will directly affect the outcome of your case. I work with clients on both sides of high-conflict divorce cases, and I have seen firsthand how small missteps can escalate into major legal problems. If you are going through a divorce in Illinois, especially here in Schaumburg or the greater Chicago area, here are 11 things you should never do.
Do Not Hide Assets Or Lie About Finances
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/501–5/503) requires full and accurate disclosure of assets, debts, income, and expenses. If you try to conceal assets, lie on financial affidavits, or transfer property to a friend or relative, the court may impose serious penalties. You could lose credibility, forfeit marital property, or face sanctions for contempt.
Do Not Badmouth Your Spouse To Your Children
No matter how bitter your relationship has become, speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your kids will damage your case and may even affect custody. Under 750 ILCS 5/602.7, courts look closely at each parent’s ability to foster a relationship between the child and the other parent. Judges in Illinois do not look kindly on one parent trying to alienate the children from the other.
Do Not Violate Court Orders
Once temporary orders are in place, such as parenting schedules, financial support, or exclusive possession of the home, you must follow them. Ignoring or violating court orders is a fast way to end up in contempt proceedings, which can lead to fines, attorney’s fees, or even jail time. Follow every order to the letter and speak to your attorney about seeking a modification if necessary.
Do Not Use Social Media To Vent
Social media posts are admissible evidence in Illinois divorce proceedings. If you post angry rants, photos from expensive vacations, or suggest your ex is unfit, you can seriously hurt your case. I always tell clients to assume everything they post will be shown to the judge. It is best to stay off social media altogether until your divorce is finalized.
Do Not Involve Your Children In The Legal Fight
It may be tempting to ask your child who they want to live with or share court documents with them. Do not do it. Illinois law prioritizes the best interest of the child and expects both parents to protect the child from the litigation. Under 750 ILCS 5/603.10, courts can restrict parental responsibilities if a parent involves the child in inappropriate ways.
Do Not Withhold Parenting Time
Unless there is an order restricting the other parent’s access to the children, you must comply with the parenting schedule. Withholding visitation can result in contempt proceedings or changes to your custody arrangement. If you believe the other parent is a danger to your child, bring it to the court’s attention the right way through your attorney.
Do Not Move Out Without A Plan
Leaving the marital home without a clear legal and financial strategy can backfire. In some cases, it may appear to the court that you abandoned the household or gave up your claim to the home. Before making any move, speak with your attorney. Your living arrangements during divorce can affect temporary support and parenting time decisions.
Do Not Sign Agreements Without Legal Advice
In a high-conflict divorce, your spouse may try to rush you into signing a parenting agreement, settlement, or quitclaim deed. Never sign anything without having your attorney review it first. These documents have long-term consequences, and once signed, they are hard to undo.
Do Not Ignore Your Mental Health
High-conflict divorce can lead to depression, anxiety, and burnout. If you are struggling emotionally, consider speaking with a licensed therapist. Not only can it help you cope, but it can also show the court that you are stable, proactive, and committed to your well-being and your children’s.
Do Not Threaten Or Harass Your Spouse
Illinois has strong protections under the Illinois Domestic Violence Act (750 ILCS 60). Any threats, stalking behavior, or harassment, even over text or email, can result in an emergency order of protection. If you are accused, the court may restrict your access to your children or your home. Always communicate through your attorney when things are tense.
Do Not Represent Yourself
High-conflict divorce cases involve complex issues: contested custody, property division, spousal support, and allegations of misconduct. Representing yourself almost always leads to worse outcomes. A private attorney understands the legal system, knows how to present evidence, and protects your rights in ways you cannot do alone.
FAQs About High-Conflict Divorce From A Florida Divorce Lawyer
What If My Spouse Is Lying In Court?
If your spouse is providing false information to the court, your attorney can present evidence to challenge those claims. That may include subpoenaed financial records, emails, texts, or third-party witness testimony. The court can penalize a party for making false representations.
Can The Judge Order Counseling In A High-Conflict Divorce?
Yes. Under Illinois law, the court may order parents to attend parenting classes or counseling if it
is in the child’s best interest. Judges want to see both parties working to reduce conflict and prioritize their children’s needs.
Will High Conflict Affect My Parenting Time?
It can. If the court finds that one parent is causing unnecessary conflict or interfering with the child’s relationship with the other parent, parenting time may be restricted or supervised under 750 ILCS 5/603.10. The court looks at how both parents handle disagreements and whether they promote the child’s well-being.
Can I Record My Spouse If They Are Threatening Me?
Illinois is a two-party consent state under the eavesdropping statute (720 ILCS 5/14-2), which means you cannot legally record private conversations unless both parties agree. However, public behavior or voicemails may be admissible. Always talk to your attorney before recording anything.
Do Courts Favor Mothers In High-Conflict Divorces?
Illinois courts are required to treat both parents equally under the law. Decisions about parenting time and decision-making are based on the child’s best interests, not on gender. What matters most is each parent’s conduct and parenting history.
What Happens If My Spouse Tries To Move The Children Away?
Your spouse cannot relocate the children without court approval if the move meets certain distance thresholds defined under 750 ILCS 5/609.2. If they try to move without permission, the court can order the children returned and sanction the parent.
Can I Change Lawyers If I’m Already Represented?
Yes. You have the right to change legal representation during your divorce if you feel your current attorney is not serving your needs. Just make sure the transition is smooth, and your new attorney has time to catch up before court hearings.
Is Mediation Still Required In High-Conflict Cases?
Yes, in most counties in Illinois, mediation is mandatory for custody and parenting time disputes. Even in high-conflict cases, the court requires a good-faith attempt to resolve disputes outside of court unless there is a safety issue.
How Long Does A High-Conflict Divorce Usually Take?
It varies. Some high-conflict divorces can take a year or longer, depending on the issues, how cooperative each party is, and how backed up the local courts are. Temporary orders may be issued early on, but final resolution can take time.
What If My Spouse Tries To Cut Me Off Financially During Divorce?
If your spouse restricts access to funds, your attorney can request temporary financial relief under 750 ILCS 5/501. Courts can issue temporary support orders to ensure one spouse is not unfairly disadvantaged during the divorce.
Call Schaumburg’s High-Conflict Divorce Expert: Fedor Kozlov
Divorce can be difficult. High-conflict divorce can be devastating if not handled properly. If you are facing a contentious legal battle with your spouse, you do not have to go through it alone. I have helped clients throughout Schaumburg and the Chicago area protect their children, secure fair outcomes, and hold their ground in even the most emotionally charged cases.
Call our Chicago divorce lawyer at the Law Office of Fedor Kozlov at (847) 241-1299 to schedule a consultation. We represent clients in Schaumburg, Arlington Heights, Palatine, Rolling Meadows, and throughout the greater Chicago area.
