Divorce Myths That Continue To Mislead People
Misconceptions about divorce are widespread, and they often cause unnecessary confusion and stress during an already difficult time. These myths can influence how someone approaches the divorce process, makes decisions about property, parenting, or financial matters, and even who they choose to represent them. Illinois law has specific rules when it comes to divorce, and relying on hearsay or general advice can lead to costly mistakes. Every case is different, and believing misinformation can have serious legal and emotional consequences.
I’ve seen individuals come into my office in Schaumburg with strong beliefs about how their divorce will work based on something a friend said, or something they read online that doesn’t reflect Illinois law. When representing a client, whether it’s a spouse filing for divorce or responding to one, I work to separate fact from fiction and ensure the person understands what is actually possible under the law.
Let me address several of the most common myths about divorce in Illinois and explain the truth behind them.
Myth: Mothers Always Get Custody Of The Children
This is one of the most common misunderstandings I see. Illinois law does not favor mothers or fathers in parenting time or decision-making. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/602.7) directs courts to allocate parental responsibilities based on the best interests of the child, not on gender.
The court will evaluate several factors, such as the child’s relationship with each parent, the ability of the parents to cooperate, each parent’s involvement in daily caregiving, and the wishes of the child, if appropriate, based on age and maturity. In many cases, parents end up with shared responsibilities or a parenting plan that grants substantial time to both.
Myth: Property Is Always Split 50/50
Illinois is an equitable distribution state, not a community property state. That means marital property is divided fairly, but not always equally. Under 750 ILCS 5/503, the court considers many factors when dividing property, including the length of the marriage, each spouse’s contributions (financial or otherwise), the value of property assigned to each party, and each person’s future earning capacity.
Marital property includes assets acquired during the marriage, regardless of who holds title. This can include retirement accounts, real estate, and even business interests. Expecting a perfect 50/50 split can lead to frustration if someone doesn’t understand how the law actually works.
Myth: A Spouse Can Refuse To “Sign The Divorce Papers”
In Illinois, one spouse cannot prevent the other from getting a divorce. If one spouse wants to end the marriage, the court will allow the case to move forward. The only requirement is that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and efforts to reconcile have failed.
Under 750 ILCS 5/401, the court can grant a divorce even if one spouse does not agree. If the other party refuses to participate, the court may proceed by default after proper notice is given.
Myth: Infidelity Guarantees A Larger Settlement
Illinois is a no-fault divorce state. This means that the reason the marriage ended—such as infidelity, is not considered when dividing property or awarding spousal maintenance.
While cheating can certainly cause emotional harm, it does not entitle one spouse to receive more money or assets. The only exception may be if a spouse dissipated marital assets during an affair (such as spending large amounts of money on another person), which may be recoverable.
Myth: Spousal Support Is Automatic
Spousal maintenance (alimony) is not guaranteed in any divorce. Under 750 ILCS 5/504, the court considers several factors before awarding support, such as each spouse’s income, the length of the marriage, the standard of living during the marriage, and the needs of each party.
The court may use a formula to determine the amount and duration of maintenance, especially in cases where the combined gross income is below a certain threshold. In longer marriages with a significant difference in earning potential, support is more likely, but it is never automatic.
Myth: Children Can Choose Where They Want To Live
While a child’s preference can be considered, it is not the sole factor. The court evaluates the best interests of the child under 750 ILCS 5/602.7(b), and that includes more than just the child’s wishes.
Factors like the child’s adjustment to school and community, the ability of each parent to provide a stable home, and the presence of domestic violence or substance abuse may weigh more heavily than a child’s stated preference.
Myth: Legal Separation Is Required Before Divorce
Illinois does not require spouses to be legally separated before filing for divorce. In most cases, spouses only need to live “separate and apart” for a period of six months, which can occur while still living under the same roof.
This six-month period creates a presumption of irreconcilable differences, but a couple does not need to file for legal separation as a separate legal action.
Myth: Paternity Doesn’t Matter If The Parents Are Married
In Illinois, a husband is presumed to be the legal father of a child born during the marriage. However, if there is any dispute about paternity or if the parties are unmarried, paternity must be legally established under 750 ILCS 46.
Failing to establish paternity can prevent a father from asserting parental rights or a mother from seeking support. It’s critical to confirm legal parentage early in the process, especially when custody or parenting time is in question.
Myth: Temporary Orders Don’t Matter
Temporary orders issued early in a divorce case often shape the outcome of the final judgment. These orders can affect parenting time, child support, access to assets, or who remains in the marital home.
Failing to respond to motions for temporary relief or agreeing to unfavorable terms early on can put a party at a disadvantage for the rest of the case. Every stage of the case matters, including temporary hearings.
Myth: Divorce Must Be A Long Court Battle
Many people assume every divorce ends in trial, but that’s not true. Most cases settle outside of court through negotiation or mediation. Illinois courts encourage parties to work out disputes amicably when possible.
A well-prepared attorney can help develop parenting plans, divide assets, and resolve support issues through discussion. Settlement is often faster, more cost-effective, and less emotionally draining than litigation.
FAQs About Divorce Myths In Illinois
Can A Spouse Stop A Divorce From Happening In Illinois?
No. Illinois law allows one spouse to move forward with a divorce even if the other disagrees. As long as the filing spouse meets the residency and procedural requirements, the case can continue. The unwilling spouse can choose not to participate, but that may result in a default judgment.
Does Cheating Affect How Custody Or Property Is Decided?
Cheating typically does not influence custody or property division. Illinois courts focus on the best interests of the child for parenting matters and apply equitable distribution principles for property. Unless one spouse wasted marital funds during the affair, infidelity has little impact.
Can One Parent Get Full Custody Just By Asking For It?
No. Courts consider a wide range of factors when determining how to allocate parental responsibilities. The goal is to serve the child’s best interests. A parent who wants sole custody must show why shared decision-making or parenting time is not appropriate.
Is Property Always Divided Equally In An Illinois Divorce?
Property is divided equitably, not equally. The court aims for a fair distribution based on the couple’s circumstances. That means one spouse may receive more or less depending on contributions to the marriage, economic need, and other factors.
Is It Necessary To Be Legally Separated Before Getting Divorced In Illinois?
No. Legal separation is not a requirement. Couples must live separately and apart for six months, which can include living in the same household, before finalizing the divorce. This time period supports a finding of irreconcilable differences.
Can A Child Decide Which Parent To Live With After Divorce?
A child’s preference is one of many factors the court will consider. While older children’s opinions carry more weight, judges look at the broader picture—school stability, safety, parental cooperation, and more. The final decision must support the child’s best interests.
Does Spousal Support Last Forever In Illinois?
Not always. The duration and amount of maintenance depend on several factors, including the length of the marriage and the income difference between spouses. In some cases, support lasts only for a few years. Longer marriages may result in longer support periods, but indefinite maintenance is rare.
Do Divorce Proceedings Have To Be Contentious?
No. Many divorces settle through negotiation or mediation. It’s often possible to resolve disputes about parenting, property, and support without going to trial. A skilled divorce lawyer can help work toward an agreement that protects long-term interests.
Call The Law Office Of Fedor Kozlov To Protect Your Rights
Divorce can feel overwhelming, especially when myths and misinformation cloud the process. I work to provide clear guidance, protect financial and parental rights, and help clients make confident decisions based on Illinois law; not rumors or assumptions.
The Law Office of Fedor Kozlov handles complex family law matters, including child custody, property division, and contested divorce cases. Call our Chicago divorce attorney at the Law Office of Fedor Kozlov at (847) 241-1299 to schedule a consultation. The firm represents clients in Schaumburg and throughout the Chicago area.
