9 Questions Every Parent Must Ask Before Filing For Divorce
Deciding to end a marriage is never easy, especially when children are involved. Divorce isn’t just a legal process. It’s a deeply personal and emotional decision that affects every member of the family. As a family law attorney, I’ve worked with parents on both sides of divorce proceedings in Schaumburg and throughout Illinois. I know that the right questions, asked early, can help protect your children, your rights, and your future. If you’re considering divorce and you’re a parent, I strongly urge you to reflect on these nine key questions before you file.
What Parenting Time Arrangement Is In My Child’s Best Interests?
Illinois law prioritizes the best interests of the child in every custody case. Under 750 ILCS 5/602.7, courts consider factors like the child’s needs, adjustment to home, school, and community, the wishes of the parents, and each parent’s willingness to facilitate a relationship with the other parent. As a parent, ask yourself if you’re prepared to promote consistency, stability, and emotional well-being for your child—regardless of personal feelings toward your spouse.
Am I Prepared To Share Parental Responsibilities?
Illinois law no longer uses the terms “custody” or “visitation.” Instead, it refers to “allocation of parental responsibilities” and “parenting time.” Under 750 ILCS 5/602.5, parents may be granted joint or sole decision-making authority over areas such as education, health, religion, and extracurricular activities. You must be honest about whether you and your co-parent can collaborate, or if a sole allocation would better protect your child’s interests.
Do I Know How Divorce Will Affect My Finances?
Before filing, you need to understand how property division, child support, and potentially spousal maintenance will affect your financial life. Illinois is an equitable distribution state under 750 ILCS 5/503, meaning marital property is divided fairly but not always equally. If you’re the primary breadwinner or a stay-at-home parent, the financial consequences will differ. Start gathering records and speaking with professionals now.
How Will Child Support Be Determined?
Illinois uses an “income shares” model to calculate child support, as outlined in 750 ILCS 5/505. This means the court considers both parents’ incomes, the number of children, and the amount of parenting time each parent has. If you’re filing for divorce, be prepared to provide income documentation and understand that child support is meant for your child’s benefit, not as a punishment or reward for either parent.
Is There A Risk Of Parental Alienation?
Divorce can bring out strong emotions, and sometimes children are caught in the middle. If one parent attempts to manipulate the child’s relationship with the other parent, it can amount to parental alienation, something Illinois courts take seriously when determining parenting time. If you anticipate this could become an issue, we may need to request a psychological evaluation or guardian ad litem early in your case.
Have I Considered The Impact On My Child’s Daily Life?
It’s easy to focus on legal documents and court hearings, but as a parent, you also have to think about your child’s day-to-day life. Will they need to change schools? Will their extracurricular activities be disrupted? Are you prepared to explain the divorce in an age-appropriate way? Courts want to see that you’ve considered your child’s emotional and developmental needs at every stage.
Is Domestic Violence A Concern?
If your marriage involves any history of physical abuse, stalking, threats, or controlling behavior, that changes how we approach your divorce. Illinois law provides protection through emergency orders of protection (750 ILCS 60/217), and this can directly affect parenting time and parental responsibilities. If you or your children are in danger, your safety must come first, and we will take immediate legal steps to protect you.
Do I Have A Parenting Plan In Mind?
Illinois requires divorcing parents to submit a proposed parenting plan within 120 days of filing for divorce. This plan should cover parenting time, decision-making, transportation, communication, dispute resolution methods, and more. You don’t need every detail figured out before filing, but starting with a clear idea of your goals gives us a major advantage in court or mediation.
Am I Emotionally Ready To Cooperate Or Litigate?
Some divorces are amicable; others are not. Illinois encourages mediation to promote cooperation (750 ILCS 5/604.10), especially in cases involving children. But if your spouse is combative or unreasonable, we need to prepare for litigation. Either way, your emotional readiness plays a big role. If you’re not ready to put your child’s needs ahead of personal conflict, the court may take that into consideration.
Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce And Parenting In Illinois
What Is The Difference Between Legal And Physical Custody In Illinois?
Illinois no longer uses the terms “legal” and “physical” custody. Instead, courts allocate “parental responsibilities” (decision-making) and “parenting time” (formerly known as physical custody). The court can award joint decision-making or sole decision-making depending on what’s best for the child. Parenting time refers to the time the child spends with each parent.
How Long Does It Take To Finalize A Divorce With Children In Illinois?
While each case is different, most divorces with children take anywhere from six months to a year, depending on the level of cooperation, complexity of assets, and whether custody or parenting time is contested. The court requires a detailed parenting plan, and any disagreements may result in mediation or further hearings, which can extend the timeline.
Can Children Choose Which Parent To Live With?
Illinois courts consider the child’s wishes as one of many factors under 750 ILCS 5/602.7, but the child does not get to make the final decision. The older and more mature the child, the more weight their preference may carry. However, the court’s focus remains on the child’s best interests—not simply on their choice.
Is Mediation Required In Divorce Cases Involving Children?
Yes. In most counties, including Cook and DuPage, mediation is required when parents cannot agree on parental responsibilities or parenting time. Mediation allows parents to work toward a resolution outside of court. If mediation fails, the case will proceed to litigation, and the judge will make a decision based on the evidence.
How Does The Court Handle Parenting Time If There Are Allegations Of Abuse?
If abuse or domestic violence is alleged, the court will evaluate the claims carefully. Judges may restrict or supervise parenting time or deny it entirely, depending on the severity and credibility of the allegations. An emergency order of protection may also be issued if needed. The child’s safety is always paramount.
Do I Have To Go To Court If We Agree On Everything?
Even if both parties agree on every aspect of the divorce, including parenting time and child support, the agreement must still be submitted to the court for approval. A judge will review the terms to ensure they comply with Illinois law and serve the best interests of the child. Often, this can be accomplished in a single court appearance.
What If I Want To Move Out Of State With My Child After Divorce?
Under 750 ILCS 5/609.2, if you wish to move more than 25 miles from your current residence (or out of Illinois entirely), you must obtain court approval or your co-parent’s consent. The court will evaluate how the move affects parenting time and whether it’s in the child’s best interests.
Can Parenting Plans Be Changed Later?
Yes. Parenting plans can be modified if there has been a substantial change in circumstances, such as relocation, changes in the child’s needs, or a parent’s inability to fulfill responsibilities. The court will always prioritize stability and the child’s well-being when reviewing modification requests.
Speak With A Schaumburg Divorce Lawyer Who Understands Parenting Challenges
At the Law Office of Fedor Kozlov, I work with parents every day who are preparing to divorce while trying to protect what matters most: their children. Whether you’re facing disputes over parenting time, struggling with communication, or simply need help understanding your rights, I can help you develop a clear, effective path forward. Let’s talk about your options, your goals, and how Illinois law applies to your specific situation.
Call our Schaumburg divorce lawyer at the Law Office of Fedor Kozlov at (847) 241-1299 to schedule a consultation. We represent clients throughout Schaumburg, Chicago, and surrounding communities.
